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The Attitude of Gratitude
When my son was in third grade, he went
through some tough times. He was sulky and irritable, and a regular visitor
at the school nurse’s office. At bedtime, he regularly ran though a litany
of the horrors that took place during his day. It was frustrating for me to
see him suffering, and I felt desperate for something that might help. One
night after hearing about everything that went wrong, I told him that from
now on, before he goes to sleep he has to tell me five good things that
happened during the day. He objected at first, but I was persistent and
made the task easier by suggesting that any little good thing would be
acceptable. I told him that I would also share five good things that
happened in my day.
To be honest, at first this was pretty challenging for both of us. I
discovered that when you’re not used to counting your blessings, they pass
silently and unnoticed like trees falling in the woods with no one to hear
them. But eventually we settled into a pleasant evening routine, noting
small good things like a funny show on TV or warm socks on a cold day, and
bigger things like good health and the love of family and friends. “Five
Goods” has become a vital part of our lives.
We’ve been at this for over two years now, and although changes didn’t
happen overnight, I can see how this routine has helped both of us to an
unanticipated degree. The first thing I noticed was my son’s outlook
brightening, he’s become more easygoing, and he hasn’t seen the school
nurse at all this year. Other changes have occurred in both of us; little
annoyances aren’t quite as upsetting, and when we do fall, we bounce back
more quickly. When either of us has a bad day there’s a strong temptation
to skip the “goods” that night; but I discovered that’s the most important
time to notice the positive. Even on the worst day, at least five good
things happen.
The Science of Gratitude
I’m happy to report that our experience is
not unique. Evidence is mounting to support many benefits of gratefulness.
Studies conducted by Psychology of Gratitude author Dr. Robert
Emmons have shown that people who practice being grateful describe better
health, exercise more, make more progress toward their goals, sleep better,
have stronger relationships, are more enthusiastic, attentive, and are more
likely to help others. And although gratitude doesn’t protect people from
experiencing temporary negative events or emotions, grateful people
experience a better sense of well being in general. Additionally, the
Institute for Heartmath in California has convincingly demonstrated
that measurable physical benefits are associated with feelings of
appreciation and gratitude.
Overall, science suggests that gratitude is a hallmark of happiness and
that it can be cultivated easily, simply by choosing to look for it. It’s
not enough to wait for something good to happen to be grateful; the key to
experiencing the benefits of gratitude is to actively choose to be grateful
each day. That’s the attitude of gratitude.
Tips for You
There are many ways
to cultivate the attitude of gratitude. “Five Goods” works for us, and now
that you know about the many benefits of practicing the attitude of
gratitude, you can develop your own family gratitude ritual. Here are some
simple ideas for promoting gratefulness in your families:
1. Develop your own variation of “Five Goods” as a bedtime ritual. It’s a
great way to promote sweet dreams!
2. Keep a family gratitude journal in a common area of your home where each
family member can jot down good things whenever they feel like it. Establish
a weekly time to review the week’s entries.
3. Make every dinner a Thanksgiving. Go around the table and have each
family member mention something they’re thankful for.
4. Have a discussion with your child about someone they’re grateful to,
such as a grandparent, coach or teacher. Have your child write a letter of
thanks to that person and personally deliver it.
5. Make a practice of sending thank you cards for all gifts received. Teach
your children to write their own meaningful thank you cards.
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Gratitude Quotes
"When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance
appears."
Anthony Robbins
"I thank God for my handicaps for, through them, I have found myself,
my work, and my God."
Helen Keller
Positive Plan
Updates
A Smorgasbord of Weight Control Tips is officially on
the market. You can purchase a copy through me directly at www.weightcontroltips.com . I
will ship anywhere in the USA
for free.
The book is also being carried by Amazon.
Final Thoughts
Earlier this year my son took an assessment of his character
strengths. I was happy to learn that gratitude and kindness are among his
most prominent strengths. I’m certain those traits wouldn’t have emerged
without “Five Goods”. I’m grateful that this simple five minute investment
is providing my son with a stronger foundation for a rewarding and happy
life.
This month, I'll close with a simple expression of gratitude to all of you
for allowing me to share my thoughts. Have a terrific month!
Michelle
Feel free to forward this to anyone who might be interested. If you would
like to subscribe, please email me or visit my website.
If you would like to contact me, I can be reached at 518-478-0093 or email Michelle@PositivePlan.com.
The Positive Plan
Michelle Marks, PhD
PO Box 172
Glenmont, NY 12077
Phone: 518-478-0093
Fax: 518-478-9038 email: Michelle@PositivePlan.com www.michellemarks.com
Copyright(c)2004 Michelle Marks
All rights reserved worldwide.
No part of this document may be copied or sold.
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